my log

Mark

Whenever we get hurt, the injury heals with time but it always leaves a mark behind. Ever wondered why? It is a reminder of the fact that we had advertly or otherwise committed a mistake & resultantly got injured. Its human to error, its also human to learn & move on.

I had heard many instances where people had hurt themselves, even tried & actually committed suicide because of some emotional turmoil. Always retorted, 'these are faint hearted people. Weaklings! Ought to be strong both mentally & emotionally.' Ha! you never know until you actually experience it. Then lightening struck.......!

Let me take you down my memory lane. This was the time when I had just got into Amity. We were a a gang of four fellows. Oh boy! did we have the most awesome of times. Bakaiti at its ultimate best. Had lots of fun, fullto masti. But we felt that there was something missing. An all guys group. Not even a single girl. Got to do something about it ..............& we did.

So there was a fifth member added to the group. Here was the starting of all the troubles. What we thought would reduce our problems actually elevated them. We never contemplated that it would open the Pandora's box.

Being the only girl in all single guys group she remained the centre of attention. She was enjoying every moment of it & why not. Admit that we pampered her a lot. As time went by, two of us got engaged which left two suitors for her. I never thought it could happen to me. The smart lady used, scrapped & threw me in waste can. It hurt man, really bad.

I have no intention to bad mouth or accuse her, for I let myself be used. But I have no regrets either. It was typical hindi movie type drama that happened, when I look back at it now give a big laugh to it. Taught me a big lesson. Value yourself. Don't let anyone over ride your life.

That was then & now. It just seemed history was repeating itself in the most crudest of fashions. I loved this girl man, still do. But does she? For a while I really felt she did. Then again it was too good to be true. All I heard from her, 'I am busy with this, that & what not.' Nothing wrong in being passionate about your work. But if someone is a part of your life, you cannot ignore them completely. Trust me if you love someone, you are never too busy.

Even if it be for a minute, talking with your loved one should make your day. Believe me it happened that way. But then it felt as if I was literally forcing myself . She didn't need me, didn't feel the urge to talk to me. The relationship was drag, an extra baggage. Honest, deep down inside I did feel, 'yes...! this is it.' But guess it was just wishful thinking! Then came like worst phase ever. Lost my car, my cell phone, touch with my girl & even myself. Now this was treading on a dangerous path, walking on the edge. You bound to fall; anytime.

Losing soo many things does make me feel light. Though, technically can you lose a thing which you never really had? Just want to concentrate on achieving my end. Then I will make a new start, because it never ends.

What you think is the end, is only a bend.

posted by Shashank Jain @ 8:05 AM