my log

Its a matter of......

Our Director at ABS would always stress that we live in a 'choiceless world'. At that time I doubt if many of us understood the significance of his words. For us it was just another jargon. But still the guy would emphasise it time & again until it got imprinted in our minds. Now as I look back & retrospect, realize how golden his words were. That was a general message, to make it effective, you need to customize & mould it to find out what works for you. Life is about making choices. But what makes the difference is making the right choices.

I stand once again on a such an intersection in my life where I need to make a very important decision. Its not like life or death situation but the outcome of the same could affect my life vastly. Need to be careful.

Here is the gameplan:

For the first time in my life (honest) I have really, really been mezmerised by a damsel. Its just her aura that keeps hounding & pounding me; all day through. I used to spend my time just admiring her even during my final sem papers (do it even more so now). Trust me, it seemeds all worth it & not just whiling away of time. It took me a while though before I was absolutely certain of my feelings. By that time it was time for me to leave. I had made up my mind, come what may before going to Mumbai let me just speak my heart before her. What ever happens hence forth, would be her take. Somehow when I picked up the phone to call her up, deep inside I didn't feel right. Something told me, it was not the appropraite. Well then you shouldn't do things for the sake of it. Hence I left for Mumabi without letting my feelings out. At that point of time I had no hope of talking to her again let alone seeing her.

But as it was to be, I was posted in Delhi for my training. Things worked out for me & the girl of my dreams now stands BESIDE me. It all seems so magical. I was so meant to be. But life is a maze, which never fails to amaze.


Mumbai is the city for dreamers like me. It presents you with an opportunity to fullfill your dreams. There is something about that city that pulls me towards it. Somehow, I am able to relate to it. Under normal circumstances given with an opportuntiy to be there, I would have grabbed it with both hands. But now things are different. I am like cut into half, with one part wanting to stay behind & the other one pressing to persue my dreams.

I am at a complete loss as to what to do. I need to make a choice & I did. All it took was a bit of self-intrpospection & a phone call from her. She had never really accepted my feelings verbally. All she said holding my hands was actions speak louder than words. Till now it was like a fairy tale for me. Now had my tryst with reality. Relationships based on any thing other than honesty & trust are like like houses made of sand. They are likely to break sooner than later. Its about meeting of the minds of two people which ultimately results in meeting of their hearts. It does happen overnight, but an insatant is all it takes to realise. Let us see how & when it happens, for love has a meaning only when it is reciprocated.

As of now I have a career plan chartered for myself which is the priority. Its bigger than me, my very existence depends on it. Come what may I will achieve it.

posted by Shashank Jain @ 3:52 AM