my log

Out of the woods

Phew! Its been more than a week since the blogsite was blocked. Why was it done that is a different story all together. But does it feel great to be back or what? Blogging had become almost like a second nature to me. Not being able to view my blog made feel that there was a part of me that just went missing.


So what happened during the intervening period? This week has seen a lot of upheavels in my life. The best part about it is that unlike your wife, life never remains the same. It evolves as it unfolds. God forbid if would stagnated, you are doomed for sure. Wondering what happened in this short duration that I am going gaga about!

Hmm!Patience fellows patience. Let me first ascribe it as a blessing in disguise & its not without a reason that I make this comment. Happens to the best of people, inadvertly someone or something becomes a part of your life. You won't even realise it but without it you feel scrappy. You long for it all the time, if its not there life suddenly becomes meaningless & hollow.

For me, it was the my love. Everything seemed right but its another thing that nothing went right. It all began with some friendly harmless flirting. Spending hours together just blabing & chatting away. Soon realised that had a spark for her. Happens to me all the time, this time unlike ever it flickered my heart, ignited my passion & before I realised I was in love.

My next endevour to make her feel that special as she is. Did that & in style. Got a start but it didnt take off. Not the kind of begining I had hoped for. Then not everything in under our control. She has her own priorities in life, understandable. What I fail to comprehend is where do I stand on that list if at all I do? What is my standing in her life. Does she really value & treasure me the same way as I do?

Under normal circumstances I would have cared a dam, & moved on. But buddy this time it not another but THE girl for me. We both are at very crucial junctures in life. 'We' & not 'I' have the onus of shaping this relationship. We can make it or you break it. Sometimes it just feels that its more lopsided. Dangerous sign. Need to balance it out & quickly.

After a lot of introspection, infighting & mental focus, finally magaed to turn things around. To put it simply I found my direction, revamped my priorities & now I am all set to sail. Still can't believe it that I had almost begun to love someone more than my life. Had I not pulled myself in time, it would have spelt dooms day for me.

As I look back, spending wee hours in the night just to get a glimpse of her. Waiting endlessly for talking to her. It seemed all worth it. But if she doesn't value it, I don't value her. Nothing is indispensable, life moves on & so should you.

posted by Shashank Jain @ 5:30 AM