my log

Hurrah! Exams are officially over. This marks the end of a torrid and testing time. The last exam brings together a twin  sense of excitement and relief. There is lot of anticipation. But we all feel a bit sad and nostalgic. Our friends, college and life will no longer be the same. From kids to adolescents, we are now finally adults. The tag which going to stick with us for very long time.

I am Sidharth Malhotra and this is my tale. Like any middle class family my family and parents have a lot of expectations from me. Many a times it feels scary, what if I fail to live up to them? But having supportive parents helps. I have just taken my final year B.Com(H) papers. The results are to be announced today. We have all gathered in the college foyer eagerly awaiting the results.

'I am have butterflies in my stomach', quipped Ashish.
'I couldn't eat anything since yesterday', Meera said.
'Everyone just calm down. We are going to do fine', concluded Raghu.
The tension was gripping everyone.

Strangely enough, I was quite relaxed. The confidence of having successfully completed my summer internship followed by a job offer from a reputed MNC had soothed my nerves. It felt I could do no wrong. The timing was perfect, the moment apt. It is the time to strike.

In my 3 years in college I was smitten by Meghna Sharma. The most amazing girl I had ever met. Perfect combination of beauty and brains. She has been my guiding light throughout. One of the reasons I had done so well during my college. A part of me wanted to make an impression on her for sure. I loved spending time with each other. We would spend hours talking and never get bored. During the course of our friendship we got to know each other well. Though I never said it aloud, Meghna was well aware of my feelings for her. And it was not that I was scared to bare my heart and propose. But I knew Meghna was a very practical girl. She understood the nuances of life. Love alone would not be suffice. I needed to work on finer things in life as well. This was the primary reason I wanted to get a job immediately after graduation. It would sit pretty on the list of my credentials and strengthen my case.

My reverie was suddenly broken by hysteric screams.
''The list is out....'' shouted one of my friends. And everyone surrounded the notice board.
The sudden commotion was followed by bag of mixed emotions. While some had sullen faces, others having fared well were dancing and making merry.
'Oh yes' I had scored 1st division. A merit necessary for securing the job. I wanted to jump for joy, kiss the sky and share the news with my beloved Meghna. But where is she? I hadn't seen her since morning.
My eyes looked in all directions. It  was a mad house. People crying, laughing, dancing and hugging all at the same time. Amongst the hustle bustle I saw her, smiling vividly at me. She trying hard to pierce the crowd and make her way towards me.

'Hi', I said.
'Hi' She replied.
We could hardly hear each other.
' I got the job', I shouted.
'What? I can't hear you.'
Our conversation was interrupted by Nidhi.
'Double congrats yaar', she said.
I was bemused. How does she know?
That misunderstanding was cleared when she hugged Meghana. It was for her?
'Aunty just told me the good news. So has any date been fixed yet?'

A chill ran in my spine. What the fuck? Which date is she referring to? I can't be!! This is all a bad dream.
I gave Meghana a frosty nosed stare. What the hell is happening?

'Only the roka ceremony has been done. No date finalised as of now'
Meghna's answer meant my worst fears had come true.
She had ditched me for greener pastures.
What a bitch? All this while she played with my feelings.
She bloody well knew, the sacrifices I made for her.
Don't do this to me Meghna. with you beside me, I can fight the whole world.
I love you.

But this conversation happened only in my head.
From her expression, I knew this was it. She had made up her mind. No amount of persuasion or discussion would make her change her decision.

I took her to corner.
'So you are getting married'
'Yes. It was not planned. One of Papa's friend came over to visit us from Australia. One thing led to another. And before I knew it they had solemnised everything'
'You mean you were not even asked about your opinion'
'I couldn't have asked for more Sid. Avinash is well settled in Melbourne. I have always wanted to stay in world city. Live life like a queen. And I am being offered a chance to live my dreams, I couldn't say no to that.'

'I mean how many of us get that chance'

I stood up and shaked her hands.
'I only wish you would have given us a chance'

I wouldn't let her dent my self esteem. Love has to be mutual, not forceful.
It wasn't worth another thought, I was on my way out.