my log

the good, the ugly and the bad

The different shades of life. Some good, others well ok. And then you have the moments you would rather forget. Each one has its unique flavor, its own taste and most importantly its own learning. I am going indulge in a few and paraphrase my learning out of them.


Many people ask me what are my expectations from my life partner. It is a tough question to answer, but seemingly has a simple enough answer. Compatibility! Yes thats the one word answer for it. We must or rather we supposebly should be at par in terms of thinking, living and family domain. But it is easy said than done. I wonder so many times why is it so easy to preach and so damn treachouros to implement. Pooh! It is miracle that consultancy firms make so much money just by professing while the management which implements them on the ground gets peanuts. Well then thats another story. Coming back to the point, finding a suitable match is turning out to be a rather uphill task. I can say it without any ego that I have turned down more than a dozen proposal. With equal elan I also admit there is an equal number, if not more that have also rejected me.

It is a rather dramatic proceeding. Prospective suitors would 1st visit your place, after conducting due dilligence they would make up their minds if you match upto their expectations. Now the criteria for passing the 'candidate' are as tough as the CAT examinations. Since they are mutilple. Initially you have the prelimenary screening. In layman terms it would be an inquiry about your family in terms of social and financial status. If you pass in it then comes the personal interview, where the parents and family of the prospective suitors would visit you. The most ironical fact about these meetings is that people are hardly interested in knowing you as a person. They would rather judge by your 'net worth' than 'self worth'. It doesn't matter if you think wise as long as you have deep pockets. That seems of the highest priority.

In case you match upto the aspirations of the clan, the ball is finally in your court. Its now your turn to decide if the opposite number weighs upto your desires. My experience on this count hasn't been favorable, evident by my single status. My biggest grieviance is that the main consittuents i.e. the boy and the girl in question, are sidelined and other trivial issues take the centre stage. Arey! let the two of them meet first and if they like one another then the parents can proceed with their role.

But that isn't how it works. You gasp in despair that after all the stringent tests you were subjected to, the end result was a whimper. In just a fraction of a second, the big plans you had made for the future are down in the dust. All because the girl bellies all your expectations and the whole affair turns out to be a dud. Yes for me the partner holds the highest priority. In case our minds do not meet and we ain't compatible, all the efforts are in vain.

I was of the opinion that so called 'love marriages' are a tricky affair and bear a high risk. But given these experiences, I am forced to change my stand.

posted by Shashank Jain @ 5:43 AM