my log

Feeling good.....!!!

Time is the essence of life. One day you are on top of the world, the next instance you are badly bruised after falling into the ground. Life is what life makes. One day it makes you muse, the other instant it makes you amuse. Can't help it, some things are out your control.

I have been feeling particularly indifferent for the past couple of weeks. It is perhaps the same kind of hollowness that gripped me in my MBA days as well. You live in an uncertain environement, but you want certainity in your future. To have big plans and dreams is fine, you need to have a foundation to build them on. Thats what I have come to realise, life doesn't exactly move as one might desire.

I was so hopeful of getting admission in a foriegn university of repute. Being away from home would have made me immune to the worries back home and carve my own niche. It was also my dream to study in a multi-cultural environment where I could enhance my potential. Now working in a dorky place like ours cannot yield into anything supernatural. But then you don't always get what you desire in life. After months of struggle, when finally I managed to get a call from Tias Nimbas Business School in Holland, I had to turn down the offer. The economic climate was unfavorable which resulted in a record fall in job opportunities. Spending a year of one's life and another 40 lakhs to top it all didn't make any rationale. It was too big a gamble. Anyways then I decided aganist it and back to square one. Now we have the import thing going for wall papers. The investment involved in any line of business is tremendous. It makes me think twice before venturing as the risk invloved is huge. But then no risk, no gain. One should proceed with caution, and hope that the allmightly will be kind in his support.

Now with MBA out of the equation, then next step was to get married and settle down. I was fine with the idea as your partner can the source of your inspiration and support. Here too there were complications. I would never like to compromise on the quality of my partner. But then same is the attitude with the opposite person. Its impossible to get everything under the horizon.

I feel there is something that is going to give in. This may break me or make me. Cannot continue in this fashion for much longer. Either I am going to be great or a great failure.......!!

posted by Shashank Jain @ 12:16 AM