its all about...
Its all about money, honey. Just one line but it conveys so much. I have, in the short span of my life, have seen many upheavals. The root cause of many feuds.
Money is a necessary evil.
I asked my friend what would she ascribe as the most valuable qualities in her life partner. Before I could finish she listed a handful of attributes in a jiffy (girls are so clear of what exactly they want). Nothing wrong in her wish list. But one very peculiar feature, she made no mention of money. I thought her abstraction would be typically of a rich, handsome guy who is sensible, witty, caring, humourous .......& so on (girls can be very demanding). I was well almost right, it had everything but the money element. I was mighty impressed, finally a girl who is more concerned about a guy's self worth than his net worth (read bank balance) . But it seemed to good to be true so just to make sure I asked her, 'Would you a marry a guy who has all qualities mentioned by you but is not well off monetarily?' The reply, I must say was nothing short of hilarious.
'Are you nuts?That goes without saying' Now that illustrates the importance of money in our lives. It is the start & possibly the end of everything. But there is something missing in the middle.
What that part is, I am yet to find out. I am at present on the verge of making a head start. Its ironic but I have seen people raking in moolah & making crores literally, by doing virtually nothing. Yes nothing. I thought these people must be ridding their luck. But I was wrong. Then I realized,
earning money is not difficult, but only when you learn how to earn it. Now that's the most tricky part. How do you learn to earn money. Is there any school where it can taught (
Amity Institute of Money Laundring). Sadly none exists as of date.
Its some thing which you have to learn yourself from a teacher called
'life'. Now I you have the knowledge, but the way you apply it would determine the outcome. It is the difference between ordinary & extra-ordinary poeple. The latter know how to apply their skills in the best possible way. You must have vision & the determination to reach it. A great plan is of no use without proper implementation. Dream, dream big but all this while remember with a smile, it is the smaller things in life that can cause big strife.
essence
Hey buddy, I tell you what, handling a woman & rafting are very similar. There are some tremors in the beginning but once you get set, you get used to the bumpy ride 'n' more importantly enjoy it as well.
It’s not unusual for us to draw comparisons. Call it human tendency; it’s often that we tend to bring out uncanny similarities between seemingly two different & often unrelated activities. This is exactly what I intend to discuss in this blog. I have an interesting issue up my sleeve.
I came up with this novel concept (as I like to call it) during my sales class. While learning about the sales process I found it to be very similar to that of what is called in local man’s parlance ‘ladki patana’. Until then I thought there is no set pattern to win a girl's heart, I don't claim to have found one. But there are definately some basic steps that would help you proceed further.
Before I begin let me clear up certain misconceptions. Now 'sales', when this word comes to our mind there are some predefined notions that strike us. We can call them the myths of sales.
Gift of gab, you need to be wonderful orator. You must know how to play with words to fool your customers & to trap them in your net.
Bit of blarney, you need to be cunning. A silent killer, your prey should not even realize it that he is being hunted.
Similarly we have some pre-set notions about girls. To woo a girl you need to be a charmer. You have to have the skills to appease & please the girl. You definitely need have the guile, the cool dude.
Even before you start you have lost it because of this negative mindset. No these are not the prerequistes as many of us may think they are. So drop any preset notions & begin afresh. Remember with experience & practice you are bound to become better & better.
End of prologue, time to take the challenge head on. In sales generally you are selling a product or a service. Appeasing women is the highest level of sales which requires specialized skills & knowledge, for you are selling yourself (its not something you do everyday) .
Sounding a bit cliché am I? Well let’s find how deep this rabbit hole is.
Suspecting:
Like in sales we have to select our target market, similarly with girls you need to choose the ones who would fall in our area of preference, not every girl is your target.
You need to lay down certain criteria. Only those women who fullfill them are your target. In other words qualify your suspect. The prospects i.e. those who fulfill the laid down parameters are now your target. After prospecting, you begin to heat.
A word of caution: Beware of tunnels. You are bound to find many accounts which seem lucrative but turn out to be mirages. A seemingly attractive girl, who is over smart, may never fully commit & confuse you. Such china eggs never hatch & are thus not worth the TEM; time, effort & money.
Pre-Approach:
To win any battle it is important that you not only arm yourself with the right weapons but also access your counterpart. It always augurs well to do some first hand research. Try to find out whatever you can. Know about her, her likes, dislikes, interests, turn-ons etc. Prepare yourself to talk to her in her lingua (language).
Impressions are never taken, always given.
It is up to you, what image you project & what kind of an impression you create. Girls remember even the minutest of details & expect you do the same. One mistake & boom you are doomed. That one fault can hamper your further progress.
Approach:
Now comes the most crucial part. This is actual thing, the real acid test. The single most crucial factor in this stage is to be able to read the non-verbal clues. It’s said & not without reason that face is the mirror of mind. Eyes & often facial expressions reveal the true story. Not all things are said, they need to be read, your prospect may not say them but wants you to pick up clues & proceed accordingly. (Trust me you can cut a very sorry figure for yourself for not being able to do so)
Objection handling:
There is many a slip between the cup & the lip. So far so good but the job is only half done. Girls do not like anyone invading into their territory. If you try to infiltrate there would be automatic repression. If you know how to sneek into their circle, without them even knowing it, you have almost made it. This is the transition phase from you graduate from being just a friend to 'the freind'.
You become the trustworthy pal whom she can fall back for support. But to reach this, you would have face a lot of resistance. A lot of queries & doubts have to be clarified, though not literally.You are only one step behind the slam. You need to have a lot of patience as this stage may get prolonged. But you should, like a seasoned campaigner, wait for the opportune moment to strike. Make sure when you do its a strike, all pins down.
Trial close:
Many of us are often hesitant & fail just at this final frontier. We are good friends; I don’t know how she would react. What if she our existing relation gets affected? These thoughts echo in most our minds. You can either sit back & contemplate or ask her to find out the answer. But it doesn’t mean to you become bindass, tread with caution.
Asking for the order & proposing the girl are the last step in our endeavour. Its not only the most difficult but also the msot tricky as there is no set pattern, no best time. It all depends on your gut feel. If you feel good about it & think now is the time, go ahead & shoot.
Disclaimer: Personal opinion, no responsibility taken for results
Time to slog
I have been preparing for this test not for one, two.....but for 23 long years. Its been an enthralling experience, to say the least. All this time I have strived to improve myself & learnt to evolve as a person. I used to wonder what's the ulterior motive behind all that I have gone through. I mean why should go to school & study. Why do I need to pass 'n' more importantly excel in exams. What is the need for all this? Be it education, values, etiquettes, mannerisms, morals, values etc.
Now I realize their significance & contribution to form my personality & attitude. Right from our childhood we are groomed; groomed as a part of an effort to become an
able human. A man competent enough to survive in this big bad world. Time has come for me to put my skills & knowledge to test.
All this while the most talked about subject for me was 'girls'. But time has come for me to move on to the next pedestal. Life cannot revolve for ever around feminist fascnation, there is more that you need to get others attention. I have dreams to follow, battles to fight, wars to win in my conquest called life.
So guys as the day draws nearer, when I move to the battle grounds (read Mumbai) I feel excited but there is a sense of anicipation that has gripped me. This is my first major decision in life which I have made that too against the advice & wishes of my elders. But for once I am not whimsical. I have learned to take success 'n' failures in my stride, because for those who fear falling never rise.
I guess its time for me to stop blogging & start slogging
Unravel my heart
As I write this blog I am clearly short of words. I am at a loss to express myself. Sometimes we experience a strange emotion where though we have a lot to say, we say nothing. I had made elaborate plans but all of a sudden they seem so blurred. I just feel so tired.
I just don't feel like doing anything, for I just want to do nothing. I guess thats a stupid sentiment. But probably when you leave something very dear to you behind, you are bound to feel sad. Amity, where I had spent majority of my time for the last two years is part of my memories now. I never felt so attached it before, but for now when I have passed out.
I had started blogging as an excuse to wile away while the exams were on. Now since they have ended I would probably stop blogging as well.
Eveyone of you perhaps must be wondering who was the guiding force behind all my blogs. The girls whom I often mentioned but never disclosed the identity, well lets just say she no more my inspiration. I not only said it but meant it when I said
'Bas wahi pyar hai, jiske badle mein koi to pyar de, baki bekar hai yaar mere'Logging offshanky
timeless
Friend:
'Did see you that girl in white, she was hot man'.
Me:
'Where I didnt notice'
Friend:
'You missed it man, she was too good.'
Me:
'Hmm..! hey be it man, who cares.'
Friend:
'What did you just say? Who cares, you don't?'
There must be something seriously wrong with this guy. Now we are talking about a person always on the lookout for babes. He has an uncanny knack of falling in love every second day, if not earlier.
Man her eyes are so deep, her hair so long, her smile takes my breath away, now thats what you call a figure. This is a routine affair.
'Every girl has something more to offer. Then why restrict yourself to just one girl.' The guy who always believed in the philosophy of
'more the merrier'; shunting a girl. What happened to the good old chap who saw, analysed & rated girls with aplomb. An absolute hottie (by any standards) went past him & he failed to even notice. There has to be something serious wrong with him. Either he is too distracted or else heavily attracted. A further inquiry is needed to unravel the truth.
Friend:
'Chal aaj dinner par chalte hai. Its been a while.'
Me:
'Yaar aaj mood nahi hai, phir kabhi'
Finally I had to literally drag him to the resturant. Starting with a few lead questions, I come to the point.
Friend:
'Spell out your beans man, who is she. If you are hesitant I will go talk to her. Atleast tell me who she is, may be I can help.' Now I am in a self-denial mode.Me: '
Kaun ladki tu kiske baat kar raha hai. Its all a pigment of your imagination. I am not seeing anyone.' Finally after being hard pressed, I finally tell him about this amazing girl I met. Since the day I saw her, man have I been all over her.
Friend:
Beta, it happens with you all the time, ladki dekhi nahi ki shuru ho gaye. But after some time the same truly beautiful women turns out to be a dud & your feelings turn out to be nothing more than infatuation. Me:
No buddy this time I am serious. I love this girl. It happens with me most of the times but this time its different. I know it is. Friend: W
ell thats what you always say.Well he is right, I get smitten by damsels often, but does that mean I can't be in love. I admit, I had a very casual attitude towards the girls I had been seeing. I had no intention but to fool around with them.
Then how do I know this is well & truly it?
I can spend hours to just gazing at her beauty without a hint of boredom. Each time I meet her I discover a new facet of her personality. There is that charisma about her that makes you feel so very special. I feel elated when I am with her. She is the only one on my mind, there is so much I want to tell her, so much I want to hear. I just know that it is not just another one of my infactuations. The feeling ecstasy when she is around says it all.
On the hindside, there is but one test to go: the test of time.I talk to her often but it just happens that we bump into each. Thats now, but what about later, when our interactions are bound to reduce (for obvious reasons, college has almost ended for me atleast) Will I have still the same feelings for her? I am off in a few days to the city of dreams, Mumbai. I am bound to meet & interact with more people. Will that interst, those feelings, the passion sustain when she is away. What if I fall for someone else. Can my feelings stand this test? One can only contemplate, time will tell that, meanwhile what I for all I can say
Absence is to love what wind is to fire; it extinguishes the small, it enkindles the great.
