my log

Leaf

It was during one of those times in my life where I could use 'girl friend' as an ornament, to show off. Just as jewellery is coveted amongust women, getting a new gf is the perfect reciepe of making your ex of green with envy.

I had just come of a bad relationship & honestly it took me while before coming to terms with it. Thats beyond the point here, what I want to focus is on the make shift relationship you dwell on to persue your typically selfish act.

I met this girl first time in Mumbai. She was your girl next door, someone whom you won't perhaps give a second look. Interestingly, she had this friend who was also my neighbour. Between them, they shared a strange relationship where they were always at loggerheads with each other engaging in a kind of unsaid rivalry. As it happened this friend of hers (also my neighbour) propsed to me (for once it did happen) to which I politely refused. Somehow she felt, I was more keen on her friend & conveyed my liking to her. On my return to Delhi, her friend would often call me up & finally confessed of her feelings.

I thought of it as perhaps their childish games & went along. After all it would convey a strong message to my ex. We would often talk over the phone. The girl seemed to be very keen on the bond & turned no stone unturned to strengthen it. For me it was quite clear, she needed me to perhaps boost her ego & I for mine. It was fair trade, no hiccups. Over a period of time I had grown out of my previous relatioship & become quite fond of this new girl in my life. I would tease her, please her & the going was good.

For me, it was nothing more than a fling, a relatioship of convinience. Now common, how can I be in a serious relationship with a girl whose face even I don't remember & have met her once or twice in person. To add to that we live in seperate parts of the world with almost no chance of seeing each other in near future. And, though this is a fact known to both parties there no official confirmation. Then what the y heck, enjoy it while it lasts.

But gradually I realised there was more to it. For the girl, it was serious business. It was not merely to show but she actually meant it. This got me worried. Playing with some feelings or emotions is a dangerous game which no has the right to do. Being at the receiving end, I know its not easy being a ounching bag. When the girl didn't budge, I had to resort to the hard measure.

Though its been more than three years since we broke up, I still very fond of her. I never loved her, but she was adorable. I have the greatest respect for her as a friend. Though I still wonder what made her feel that we could a serious thing out there........!

posted by Shashank Jain @ 9:34 AM