my log

Temperament

For the past few days I had been feeling uneasy & restless. There was a lot on my mind but some how couldn't manage it out. It was perturbing me a lot but what was it. But now I know it, I tell you what, for the last so many days I haven't talked to her. 'So call her stupid' I know I can but I also know for sure that she has been ignoring me. Now this happens all the time, with most of us (guys who are single). It all begins seemingly well, we meet a girl, become friends, even get pally & before you know you start having feelings for her (read as infactuation). It is then you start thinking, 'Boss what next. Is it the right time to strike'. But wait there is more to it.

This is a catch 22 situation. You are at good terms with the girl. You share a good relationship but still there is lack of personal intimacy. If you go ahead & propose the girl, you are uncertain about her reaction. If she says 'yes' then it is the best thing to have ever happened to you. Do you want to ride your luck. If she gets infuriated, your existing relationship would be hampered. It is a big gamble & you don't want to risk your friendship.

Now when you meet the girl you are in a confused state of mind. Half of your mind is admiring her & the other half, trying to charm her. Somehow or the other you want to unravel her feelings. Hard luck my friend she is a hard nut to crack (well most girls are, its god's gift to all women I guess)

Result: you end up nowhere. She wants you to please her, tease her, make her feel special (which by the way she is), but at that point of time you can't hink of anything at all. She gets bored after a while & turns off. Boom..... now thats not good.

You feel like an ass & kick yourself a million times but it won't change anything. This is where your temperament counts. Now if you try to please her all the time, it might just have the opposite affect. She would take you for granted. Instead of getting close to her & forging ahead in your realtionship, you end up just trying to make sure you don't hurt her. 'Yaar I love her but I dont want to hurt her feelings. Usko bura lag gaya to.' For god's sake people, we are not here to please others all the time. Life is too short to live upto our own expectations & if you start living it for other's, you had it.

[A word of caution: this should not be mistaken for ego. Ego is bad & it is more of being obsessed with one's self. But this is more to do with self respect. I am not to compromise on my pride. If you don't value yourself, well then who will.]

Not trying is a crime but overdoing it is a big mistake. Its tough but a right mix of 'pull' n 'push' is what is required. Do whatever you may deem fit to try 'n' attract her, fascinate her, please her, tease her,inshort do whatever it takes; but in a subtle way. Subliminal, now thats the word, you do it in the most uncanny & uncharectersitc (stealthy) fashion that the other person doesnt even notice when you did it. What you wanted to say all this time, is then automatically conveyed. Then is the time to strike, ask her the question. Leave no stone unturned to make her feel special & when you feel its right, more often than not there is no fight.

But in this quest don't lose track of yourself & remember:
Don't give anyone so much importance,
That you get affected by their ignorance.

posted by Shashank Jain @ 9:00 AM