my log

intermidiate

Life and work seem to be synonymous with each other. As we run from pillar to post to resurrect our lives, we lose touch with ourselves. Something similar happened to me and a lot more. And in the rush of it all I forgot how much I enjoyed composing my blogs.

Its a psychological phenomenon on our society. As soon as you finish your studies and join your business enterprise the first thing your parents want to do is get you married. Now whats the rush for that. Let me settle down, make my mark and once my carrer takes off we can consider matrimony. So much for that. Two years is a long enough cooling period, now is the time for action. After much delibration I had to submit to the will of my parents.

And personally too, I am ready. Life isn't as exciting as it used to be, this might ring in a welcome change. After a while you do feel the need a companion and friend who is with you, for you and by you hamesha. I would much rather have a relationship with a real person than cellphone. I was left with the relatively simpler task of chosing a partner shortlisted by my parents. Its an interesting process is arranged marriage. Let my briefly explain how it works. Your bio-data would be prepared with all detail esp. with regards to your birth details and circulated amongust the ranks of pandits and match makers. They in turn would meet prospective clients armed with your resume. If the party in question likes what they see, they would met you in person. And assuming they are fully satisfied they might extend you an invitation do the same at their place.

Man! I thought job hunting is difficult. This affair can be even trickier and sometimes getting very murky. Not entirely convinced, let me narrate my personal experience with you.
I for one believe between the set of parents on the girl's side and the boy, the former are making a more tough choice and hence be allowed a few liberties. All said and done, the clashes of egos is inevitable.
So there was this gentleman who visited us along with his family. As is usual in such cases people try to find some or the other association to pacify the doubts of the opposite party. It turned out that this gentleman had a very close affiliation with my maternal grandfather. All the while he kept blabbing and bloating how close they were (God it seemed they were inseperable). I would have thought he would interact more with me trying to gauge my persoanlity and attitude, he was more into bloating about himself. Barely managing to control my laughter, I somehow managed to last through the whole show. Meeting the family, I had made half my mind. At the insistence of my parents I agreed to accept their invitation. You need to marry the girl, not her parents. Meet her, you can always make a choice. Fair enough, parents are not the reflection of their children. Their ideas and attitude may have a yawning generation gap.

So the time and place of our rendezvous was fixed up. Rather than meeting at their place we opted for a public place. Guess that would make her less concious and more comfortable. Suits me fine. We gathered in a restauraunt. After the usual pleasentaries, I and Shalini (name changed) had a tête-à-tête. She seemed very nervous and concious of the occassion. All the while she looked down and played with her ring. I must appriciate her simplicity and humility. Within a few minutes of our conversation I could sense she was a nice human with good values. I tried my bit to comfort her and make her feel at ease. We had a nice and pleasing converation.

At the end of the day, its a very crucial decision. I analysed all the factors including her background and family but one thing that was grossly aganist her was her education. She was a correspondence graduate. She had never been to a real college. Perhaps the primary reason behind her shy and introvert self. I rely a lot on my gut feel and instinct. She didnt seem to fit into my expectations and image of a life partner. So I politely refused. My father conveyed my decision to the intermidiary between the two families.

The best was saved for the last. My sweet talk did mislead the girl. They were under the impression and infact quite sure that our reply would be in the affirmitive. The girl's father on hearing our response called my father to reason with him. No offence but I would not marry to appease anyone.

Its a matter of choice and if either of the families isn't a 100% they have every right to backout. But be sure to refute in a gentlemanly and sober manner. To rebuke or demean anyone is not acceptable in the civilsied world. Remember you may be on the other side of the pedestal at some point in your life.

posted by Shashank Jain @ 8:41 AM