my log

PuRpOsE

ME: Aray bhai, kuch bhi awai nahi hota. There is some reason, some logic, a purpose behind it.

Myself: Aacha ji aisa hota hai. Buddy what about the instances which are incomprehensive, they just happen, keep gasping aisa kyun hota hai. But there is nothing you can purport. No rational can be attributed to it. Bas ho jata hai.

ME: Okay! Elaborate more on that.

Myself:Hmm..! Theek hai, very well. You know me, how I am, instinctive & bindass.

ME: Haan! Woh to tu hai.

Myself: Would you agree that I speak straight from the heart.

ME: Rite, with you on that. But what's the point you wanna drive home?

Myself: You know how does it feel to be in love?

ME: What.........? Sorry boss but fail to understand the connection.

Myself: You would & soon. Answer me first.

ME: I would have to say, you ought to experience it to know how it feels. Its actually not possible to express it verbally. The joy, the ecstasy you feel when she is around sends you into raptures. Its a bliss, completely out of this world.

Myself: Now can you explain why does it happen?

ME: Love.

Myself: Now you are talking.


Picture this. Like any other day in the college, I was sitting around with some mates doing my stuff. Get a call, she needs a scientific calculator. Urgent boss, has a mid-term to give.

Hey tere pas calci hai kya, ask my freinds. Abay de na.

Call her up, 'haan! mil gaya. Where are you? No one in your class. Accha! CRC kay bahar. OK main aata hoon.'


After that........

Are you fine?

Yaah.

Did you realize what you do just now.

What?

You went berserk. Imagine a lazy & laid back guy as yourself, catching hold of a calculator, climbing downstairs, then calling up & then again rushing all the way to CRC. Was it just a curtsey call.

Yaah! She is a freind.

Oh really. Don't fool yourself. For how many friends do you rush like crazy. Admit it, you love this girl.

Bull shit man. She had a exam, just being chivalrous.

Thats what you say.


This was the first realisation of the fact that I loved her.

There have been a series of events after this.

I spoke my heart out.
Broke my heart loud!

Dreamt of her all night,
Tried to move on with all might.

But still find myself here,
Where she seems everywhere.

In the end. What happened, what did it all lead to? WhAt PuRpOsE DiD It SeRvE???????????

When I was slogging it out, battling for dear life; she was not there. Kept hoping aganist hope but of no avail. She wasn't there for me when I needed her the most.

You have to fight your battles alone. Why are you cribbing boss?

Why can't I just forget her & move on in life? I mean if she is not interested then why should I care? But I do. Dam its so frustrating!

All rite! I love her. But surely can't let her undermine my self respect. She has her own priorities & I have my dreams to pursue.

For the first time I loved a girl from the core of my heart &.........

Don't have any regrets, tried, gave it shot. I may have failed in my endeavour to make her feel loved but atleast she taught me the true meaning of love.

posted by Shashank Jain @ 7:53 AM